- DO include the international in your normal, day-to-day life. Ask them to join you for a trip to Wal-Mart, a day working in the yard, or your child’s soccer game.
- DO NOT focus on special or costly entertainment. A normal home-cooked meal is just as special (if not more special) than a “fancy” dinner or eating out.
- DO start the conversation with some very easy questions using simple words so that you can quickly gauge an international’s level of English.
- DO NOT use idioms, slang, or difficult words. Be careful with humour and jokes –these are often difficult to understand without the cultural context.
- DO ask the international his or her full name – then repeat it several times. It is a high compliment when they see that we want to say their name accurately and clearly. Then teach them to pronounce your name.
- DO NOT be surprised if the international has difficulty pronouncing your name. Our American names sound just as unusual to them as their international names sound to us!
- DO try asking questions or saying things using different words. If you sense that some of your vocabulary was not understood, try to rephrase the concept using different words.
- DO NOT assume that you are always understood the first time you make a statement. Internationals will rarely tell you that they do not understand. Sometimes their response will be based on what they think you said and not what you meant. Often they will nod “yes” even if they do not understand so that you are not put in an awkward position.
- DO take a few minutes to read and learn “the basics” of your friend’s home country, and ask them to tell you about the history and culture of their country.
- DO NOT assume that you know everything about their home, even if you have travelled to the country before! Be open to receiving new information that you haven’t heard before.
- DO be willing to listen politely to political, religious, or social points of view that you disagree with.
- DO NOT ask questions about the politics or governing practices of their country. In general, it is best to avoid political discussions if possible. If political disagreements surface, be sure that your conversation is marked by grace and love.
- DO offer to help with practical or logistical needs (finding a doctor, locating the DMV, picking out a cell phone).
- DO NOT feel pressured to pay for your friend’s purchases, give them money or gifts, or help with complex immigration/legal issues. You are a friend, not a sponsor!
- DO use discernment when inviting an international to join you for a Bible study or church worship service, or when discussing religion. Often it is best if these conversations are initiated by the international.
- DO NOT force religious discussions or beliefs on your international guest. It is best if genuine friendships are established before you initiate these types of conversations.
- DO let your international friend see that your Christian faith is a significant part of your life. As you would with an American friend, feel free to pray before a meal, talk about the sermon you heard at church, and demonstrate how being a Christian affects your work and family life.
- DO NOT base your time with the international and your offer of friendship on how interested he or she appears to be in Christianity. Your interest in them is out of genuine love and concern; it is not a scheme to convert them to Christianity.
Other tips & suggestions
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- Bring your calendar with you when you meet with an international so that you can plan your next get-together while you and your international friend are together. Come prepared with one or two specific dates in mind when you will be available. Many students don’t have transportation, so offer to give them a ride. (After you have scheduled a date to meet again, send an e-mail as a friendly reminder of your plans.)
- When you are swapping information with your international friend be sure to repeat and clarify phone numbers and e-mail addresses! Holidays when classes are not in session, such as Thanksgiving, Christmas, Spring Break, Memorial Day, and July 4th, are excellent opportunities to get together with your friend.
- Most of the international students that Link serves are in the Augusta area only temporarily (as little as 6 months, or as much as a few years). It is important that we be intentional and proactive about pursuing a relationship with them. If we wait, they will be gone! Internationals will be thrilled that you express interest in getting to know them better.
- Demonstrate God’s love by serving international students, accepting them, respecting them and their cultures, and their language.
- Don’t underestimate the significance of this opportunity! Many international students are from parts of the world where they would never even meet a Christian, much less be friends with someone who has believed the Gospel. Pray that the Lord will use your friendship with them for His glory.